


i swear i'd burn this city down to show you the light

by smallredboy



Series: pretty girl rock [5]
Category: House M.D.
Genre: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Babysitting, F/F, Friendship/Love, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Repression, girls!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 12:26:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18965224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallredboy/pseuds/smallredboy
Summary: Kutner reflects on her relationship with Cole.





	i swear i'd burn this city down to show you the light

Kutner isn’t too sure what’s the pull that drives her closer to Cole, but she can make a few lucky guesses.

Before Foreman came along they were the only women of color fighting for a place in House’s fellowship. A bad idea, perhaps, considering her love for making offbeat jokes about Cole’s Blackness and the fact she’s a Mormon, but she can deal. She’s dealt with far worse in different jobs, and hey, House is trans too. She likes girls too. It could be worse, it _has_ been worse.

It doesn’t stop her from wanting more from Cole, though. She’s clearly got some repression or internalized stuff or something from being a Mormon, there’s something going on, there, alright. And she wants to help her out of it, which ends up with her being her kid’s babysitter when she’s busy with a side job. Her kid is nice enough, clearly taking a lot of features out of Cole— Kutner doesn’t have the same kind of hair by far, so her computer has been a great source of information on how to take care of it.

She bounces the little girl on her lap as she starts to doze off, a small smile on her face when her big eyes compared to the rest of her face start to flutter shut. After a few moments she falls asleep on Kutner’s lap, and she pets her hair and stays in the same spot, not daring to wake the toddler up.

Cole is pretty damn nice, too. They’ve gone out together to dinner and stuff, something under the little disguise of friendship as they watch shows and laugh together and Cole looks just a little uncomfortable when she talks about her ex and her pregnancy. She understands, she has a clue or two about why that is — she lets her be. She can’t imagine how stressful it is to be LGBT while in a religion that's well-known for its homophobia. It scares her for her well-being, a little— she wants to hold Cole and never let go.

“Cole!” she exclaims with surprise when she walks into her apartment, a smile making its way onto her lips. She makes an effort to not stand up as much as she wants to, her ADHD-riddled brain begging for her to get up, but she doesn’t, simply not to wake the toddler up.

“Hey Kutner,” she replies, putting a bag of groceries down before sitting down next to her, still a decent amount of distance in between them. “How’s my little darling?”  
  
She smiles. “She’s alright, fell asleep just a few minutes ago, actually.”   
  
Cole nods and gets a little closer, barely enough for their knees to brush together, but it still sends shivers down Kutner and makes her smile, her heart thumping against her chest. She wants to kiss her madly, she really wants to— she’s eager to just have her, but she knows she has to give her some space before she lets herself grow closer.

“You know we’re stalling, right,” Cole says quietly.

She’s pulled out of her thoughts by that and she looks at Cole, her eyes widening a little. Her heart beats harder against her chest, and she tries not to panic at the question. Is this it? Is this finally it?

“I know,” Kutner replies, looking at her as she places the toddler out of her lap carefully. As soon as she’s out she starts flapping her hands a little. “Mainly because of you. I just— don’t want to rush you.”

“I know,” she replies, a hand to Kutner’s cheek. It doesn’t contrast heavily, but the back of it still is a richer, darker color than the skin of her skin. The tenuous light only makes the scene feel even more close, more emotional. “But I think I… I do want to. I just need to like, stop being so repressed about my lesbianism. And all that.”

Kutner smiles and nods. “I know, Cole. You can take all the time in the world.”

She offers her a hand, and she takes it, squeezing softly.

They don’t kiss that day, or the day after. They know they don’t need to just yet.


End file.
